It’s been a while since I insulted a professional soccer player that represented the U.S. Actually, the last player I dissed was Alexi Lalas, and I did it to his face after the dismal 1998 World Cup, when he and his MLS team were visiting Rochester for a friendly. Iran had defeated America just a few weeks before. So my friends and I heaped abuse on the MLS team, proclaiming in 20-voice chants that we could have beaten Iran. Then, when Lalas got close enough for a throw-in, I told him he sucked. He responded that I was setting a horrible example for the kids - about 10 of which were also telling him that he sucked. I immediately felt bad for the minds I had polluted… after telling him to get a haircut, of course.
Well, since then I have not insulted any soccer players. Until now.
I don’t like Landon Donovan. He is too cool to sing the National Anthem. He is too cool to put in some effort and try to win a game for his country. He’s just a punk. Rather than going to Europe (for longer than a year) and developing himself against better players, he is content to be one of the best strikers in Major League Soccer, which, as he so ably demonstrated at this World Cup, is not something worth bragging about in international circles. Way to represent for your country there, Donovan!
Donovan stunk it up yet again in the U.S. Loss to Ghana, ending America’s run at the cup. Donovan had better be glad I don’t live anyplace where MLS teams play.
On to my next rant - Bruce Arena is a really good coach, possibly the best in U.S. Men’s team history. But you can’t win World Cup games if you don’t plan aggressive play. It was clear from the outset that Bruce wasn’t playing for a 4-goal victory (the only way to guarantee a trip to the second round, based on tiebreaking scenarios).
Can you imagine if Bruce had commanded the Normandy invasion? “OK, first we’ll land on Omaha, and after we see how that goes, then we’ll think about maybe moving on Utah, Juno, Sword and Gold… Oh, and let’s keep the Rangers and Airborne out of the fight - we’ll only throw them in if it looks like we’re getting into trouble.”
So what does this mean? We were the first to qualify in CONCACAF. If Mexico falls easily in the second round, it means that CONCACAF is not very competitive.
Or maybe it’s just us. Claudio Reyna says we’re still a small footballing nation, so our time has not yet come.
I think it will happen in my lifetime. The U.S. men will win the cup. But I will probably have grandchildren by that time.
See, there’s this flood in the region, and they decided they needed some video about it. So, of course, they sent me in.
